Alright students, I am your professor Professor Professor and I am here today to speak to you about English. It has come to my attention that recently the internet has reached a plataeu in the English language and that there is not enough color in your vocabulary. I want to talk to you about K-Mart words. These are words like cat and dog. See cat and dog are K-Mart words. What you want to do when you get to those pivotal moments in a piece of writing is that instead of saying cat or dog you say feline or canine. Get it. Alright the reason why you do this is quite simple. There are words within this English language that do carry more weight than others. Its not about how deep you are. No one gives a fuck about that. Its about how heavy you are. There is a difference between deep and heavy. See deep is like when you tweet something like … Oh My Gawd Like Tomorrow Will Be Today Someday. Like that’s deep. See no one gives a shit about deep. I learned that the hard way. You can spend too much time being deep with someone when you are constantly trying to come up with a business plan. Like yes congratulations you are creating cogent sentences that do have a subject and predicate. You are in line with subject and verb agreement and from time to time you even use a beautiful adjective or something like that. Thing is you need to be heavy. Heavy is where its at. See you can never be too heavy. Heavy is where all of the magic in the English Language is. Heavy is where you infuse a decision into your writing and you can only really be heavy if you have spent enough time reading to know what all of the deep writing is. Like there are millions of pages of deep writing. But heavy writing is where you know a trend in the deep writing world and you just kind of go askew for a second. Like you up on English in a way that lets you know something along the lines of something like this … its when you purposefully utilize words that you are quite certain ain being used that often. Its like when you writing heavy writing you can basically be writing the same style of story that has always written before but because you up on what the typical style of writing is on the only thing that people are reading now a days … if you know the basic colors of the internet writing styles … you can go off color and the more slightly you are off color in parts of your tone, parts of your vocabulary, it can give your writing weight. Like your typical internet writing is on a certain wavelength because so god damned many people are watching television like its the gold standard in communication. It ain. So like to the degree esssentially which you can weave inside and outside of the way the langauge typically is disseminated to the public at large and to the degree with which you can intersperse your own nice little stylistic choices is to the degree you is heavy.
Lets go over this again. Like if you know what most people are reading say around the world. And you know for certain that places like Reddit, Digg, and Wired have a certain percentage of the writing audience on earth. You can take that into account and based on what you see at Reddit, Digg, and Wired and you can utilize the fact that they are a quality sampling of the style of writing that exists on the internet currently and basically all you have to do is keep your subjects in line with your verbs so that you ain writing lines like the ferris wheel spoke which makes no sense. Instead you take a typical line from like Reddit.com which is super heavy online right now which means to a certain extent it has a leadership quality in English on the internet. I would say that most people on Reddit are writing at like an 11th grade level based on the story telling that I am reading so keeping that in mind that the writing level of Reddit which is a healthy cross section of the population, you cater to that writing level. Like I know from Reddit that there is a standard style of writing that people not totally conscious with how performance writing works and how colors of the English language work and may or may not be on vocabulary auto-pilot … like I can read. I read a couple places online and I just notice that the color of the writing is very similar across a sub section of the board for the most part.
I have been writing for ten years so on a regular basis when I am writing my sentences I am typically extremely adept at high speed word choice and for the most part I naturally understand from thousands of pages of writing how to affect the color of the writing I am crafting. I typically never really start writing anything unless I can think of a good jump off sentence or concept line. Once I have my concept line its just a matter of following the math for the most part or knowing how to segue into some different math aka style of language. Like when I say style of math its like I am talking about the inspiration for the word choices. Like I am for the most part very in control of what I write and when I was writing at Nicholas Lawson Dot Com that was like where I was doing my katas and was in training. Now I am at Vitae Magazine and because I engaged in regular expressions of robustly unnacceptable writing. I learned the opposite lesson as well. Like I broke so many rules atwww.nicholaslawson.com BUT I always made sure to delete my work. I never left anything inflammatory on the front page for more than like an hour or so. I have this one frame to share my writing and its like on vitaemagazine.com I have this elongated frame that just stretches east. Notice how I said east instead of left. Its like east has more heft than left because people talk about left all of the time. Its like the heavier words are all of the words you are familiar with but have not heard in a certain length of time.
I just really enjoy utilizing words that people have not heard since ancient times for the most part because to me its the slightly ancient words that carry the most weight. Professor Professor Out.