Jane wanted to play with her mouse. She had one right next to her set top box. It had two buttons on it. One was the right mouseketeer. The other was the left mouseketeer. The left mouseketeer got a lot of action from her index finger on her right hand. She wanted a left hand mouse. What she really wanted were two mice that she could use in either hand at the same time. She wanted a balanced computer. Her computer did not seem balanced with just one mouse. She thought of all of the clever things she could do with mice as opposed to a mouse. She wanted two mice to play with each other so that she could play the keyboard with her feet. Like an organ.
If the computer had a square monitor she would be happy.
The toast that she has in the toaster is toasting and she has some jam that she wants to spread over the crusting bread.
Today is the day Jane gets in the mood to go for a walk. She has been eating mustard leaves and goat cheese for breakfast for the last few days along with some olives from the store. She just learned to like olives. She decided they are what healthy food tastes like. Olives.
Oil.
She has oil in her system now because of the olives. They do taste oily. She does not mind. She is growing sort of fond of and used to the fact that she is going to be eating olives for quite some time to come. Whenever she goes to the grocery store she is going to buy olives because of the way they taste healthy. She wants to eat pizza from DiGiorno’s but instead she is going to eat olive’s and mustard greens. She knows what is healthy for her at the grocery store.
She was tipped off from paying attention in a conversation once that if you groc around the sides of a grocery store you will find the best food you can find. A deli playing adele music is not a grocery that is something else. A grocery that sells all the food is where you can go krogering if you are interested in doing so. Jane feels like krogering a few times a month.
The wind is cold in the near end of winter and Jane is playing catch with her frisbee that she has named yo yo. It has a string attached to it and she throws it out and it whiplashes back.
She gets on her cell phone and pulls up tindr. She swipes to the right on the first boy she sees and he messages her.
Wut up?
Not surprised so she says.
Nothing.
He write.
Wanna hang out.
She types back.
Sure.
So a date is set and Jane and Boy decide to meet under an over pass to eat some cookies.
She calls the police to let them know that she is meeting a boy under an over pass.
It’s a good place to take photographs.
They let her know that they appreciate the phone call and that it was a responsible thing to call them since she has no idea who this boy could be.
She lives alone.
She has an instinct that everything is going to be fine but she got into a fight with someone once before from Tinder and she didn’t know how that night would turn out.
She calls the police every night she is going to meet someone she has never met before on the internet now. Just to be certain of something.
To be certain that she can say she did so and they will know that she did.
It makes her feel empowered and safe even though she is alone.
Just making a good decision can make someone feel so empowered.
She gets her coat on and walks down the street past a vegan white castle and to the spot that was decided on under and under pass. She has a tin of cookies with her that she wants to photograph in different locations with her Vivatar camera. She wants to photograph the cookies being eaten and she wants to post them to the Tinder Successful Date Photo Gallery Of People Having Fun that she is a fan of.
It’s heavily followed on Reddit and the sub reddit moderator is cool and lets people show cleavage. But no nipples or he deletes the posts.
Anyways Super Dan shows up and he is ready to model for Jane. Jane has her camera with her and she pointedly states.
Strike a pose.
Dan says.
Like this.
Jane says.
Sort of perfect.
Stop talking.
Super Dan looks super confused.
Female empowerment.