It was Sunday. The Church was packed with Oreos, Snickers, Ho Hos, the Orange Family. The floor was covered in gummy bears. The Peppermint Man began to play the tangelo organ on the key lime ivories. It was the classic Coca Cola theme song that played at every Splendiferous Wedding. As the congregants stood in anticipation of the wedding of the Millenium Chewbacca was eating a granola bar and Miss Candy Sunshine was doing hopsctoch. Then a dolphin coughed up some glitter and fourteen clouds had a color battle. The moment had arrived and UGK was did the crip walk krump while Keynan Ivory Wayans high fived Garth Brooks as the Thunder kept its mouth shut for once.
At the front of the Juice Castle stood Lisa Frank the presiding Minister from Give Em Stickers Until the World Ends University. Well she turned in fourteen circles and did a somersault which was the traditional way to begin a marriage ceremony of this historic magnitude.
In walked Smoky J. The man of the hour. Man was he cool. Everyone was super super super jealous of him in the Evil Corporate Headquarters Poison Ivy Distribution Plant. He quite his job as the Most High and was a hop scotch champion in the Everglades for about six years. He made purple skittles smiling for a living.
The Ceremony began.
And there she was. Tagalong. The Princess. Princess Tagalong had finally found her man. Princess Tagalong searched through parking lots all over the country from Krogers to Get Your Food Here Inc to Kwiki Mart Parking Lots and thousands of Cheerleading Competitions. She finally fell in real adult love. She was smitten with Smoky J. He was standing at the front of Juice Castle in the space where the groom is supposed to stand. Lisa Frank was just high on life imaging a quantum smile fractal. Everyone was a little spaced out but hey, at least they were in the right building.
Pope YouTube was cheesing.
Buskin Robbins had sent some flowers. There was a pile of scales and plastic baggies about four feet high.
The front row of the Juice Castle was decorated with some denk hydro plants that were just for decoration. Bozo the Clown could not make it do to the fact that he could not find his bonkers nose.
Well , as was tradition in Euphoric Psychotic Perfect Love County. The ceremony would be short as everyone was fairly certain they were missing the latest episode of Duck Tales.
Alright heres what happened next. Princess Tagalong sprinted like a mofo and high fived Smoky J. Smoky J was like. We doin it. Princess Tagalong was like. Word.
Jay Z was like … Hova Approves and kissed his opal pinky ring for good luck.
Then the deed was done and that is the story of how Girl Scout Cookies and Marijuana became the first two businesses to become wed into the eternal future of time. As apparently the game plan is to spread out like the Girl Scouts will scout out some Prime Girl Scout Locations and the Marijuana Corporation will invest in mad real estate.
Just Remember in about 100 years when the two wealthiest people are just running shit don’t be surprised if they just doing it for a merit badge that ain no one ever unlock before.
Word is Bond. May Girl Scout Cookies and Marijuna be wed in eternal bliss as , certainly no one saw it coming … but who could state how perfect such a thing is. It just kind of seems like all you need to know is that a girl scout found the sweet spot and a dispensary finally fell in love.
The End.